


Wet and Wild

by jovialien



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Humor, M/M, Male Slash, Phone Calls & Telephones, Phone Sex, Porn Video, Slash, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-23
Updated: 2010-09-23
Packaged: 2017-11-12 13:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/491611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jovialien/pseuds/jovialien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack's stuck in a hotel for the night and feeling lonesome, but he knows just who to call....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wet and Wild

Jack hated hotel rooms.

Admittedly there were some good things about them. The bed was high and had a good bounce to it, the shower was powerful and he had forgotten how many TV channels were available now, including a few that had some very interesting programmes on. He definitely took it as a positive sign of the times when gay porn was available in any hotel room instead of being a secretive back alley affair.

But even that wasn't enough to overcome the general realisation that he was here, alone, with just TV porn and a kettle that was wired into the wall for entertainment. He was bored and lonely.

And horny.

That was the problem with long meetings, especially UNIT liaison ones. There were always far too many boisterous and testosterone charged men in a small room, with cute armed guards lurking in the doorways or marching past the windows. It always led to his mind drifting, imagining getting under that uniform and exploring just how fit those soldiers were.

What surprised him the most though was how often his mind simply wondered what Ianto would look like in that red cap instead.

Jack sighed and walked around the double bed. The too small towel wrapped around his waist was damp from the shower but all he needed in the slightly too warm hotel room. Pressing a hand down on the mattress, he flopped down onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

It took him only a few seconds to decide before his hand was reaching out to the bedside table, grabbing the phone and earpiece that were resting there. He didn't even have to look to dial the number, muscle memory alone enough to make the connection.

_“If the world isn't ending then I'm guessing you're bored.”_

Jack chuckled at the sound of Ianto's voice in his earpiece, picking up on the amused edge to it and wriggled on the bed, getting comfortable on the white hotel sheets. “What, I can't just call you to say hello?” He could hear the soft breathy chuckle at the other end of the line and leaned over to flick off the main light, sending the room into the semi darkness of a single bedside lamp.

_“You never do anything without a reason, Jack.”_ He could hear the line go quieter as Ianto clicked off the television, or whatever he was listening to, to concentrate on the conversation. Definitely a good sign. _“How's the hotel?”_

“The usual. I'm all alone on this huge bed.” He trailed off, letting his hand drift along his bare chest as he grinned to himself. “After spending all day with those fit young soldiers in those sweet little uniforms...”

_“You and your uniforms.”_ Ianto sighed and Jack could hear the soft creaks of what he could tell had to be the leather sofa in Ianto's flat; the younger man was getting comfortable too. _“Although when it comes to your coat, I have to agree that uniform has certain attractions.”_

Jack glanced at his coat, hanging on the too small rail with its fixed hangers. “It's useful too. I don't need it right now though.”

_“Oh?”_ He could hear the barely disguised interest in Ianto's voice. _“And why not?”_

“Because I just got out the shower and I'm lying on my big hotel bed all on my own. Just me and my towel.”

_“Now there's a nice thought.”_ He could hear a soft metallic click, almost as though a belt buckle was being undone and grinned to himself at the thought. _“Anything decent on TV?”_

“Just some porn,” Jack replied, letting his hand drift lower to rest atop his towel covered hips. “There's two guys, who look far too young to be doing this sort of thing, just randomly getting it on in a field.”

_“Why do they always choose some completely implausible scenario for these things? It's never anything remotely realistic or practical, not to mention they just start stripping in public where anyone could catch them.”_

“What, you think you could do better?” Jack teased lightly, a hint of challenge in his voice.

_“I think between us we've been more inventive than that before.”_ Ianto replied cheekily, a soft sigh brushing over the mouth piece. _“Remember the Millennium Centre?”_

Jack laughed and nodded to himself, his hand rubbing leisurely over his crotch as he remembered that night. “Even on the roof you managed to have a warm blanket and a Thermos of coffee ready for afterwards.”

_”I do my best to be prepared.”_ Jack could hear the way his voice hitched slightly, a sure sign that Ianto was getting in the mood.

“So, if you were to cast us in a porn film,” Jack asked huskily, clicking off the volume on the TV and instead half watching the two guys rutting away whilst his attention switched to the one man on the phone line. “What would we be doing?”

_“Hmm.”_ Jack flicked his towel open, exposing himself to the slight chill of the hotel air conditioning as he pictured Ianto thinking about it, that little frown on his face as he considered the options. _“Well for starters, I wouldn't be wearing my grubby car washing jeans like I am now._ ”

“You washed the car already?” Jack growled low in his throat and wrapped his fingers around his cock, playing loosely over his skin as he thought of it, annoyed he'd missed the view. “Damn.”

_“You like that idea?”_ Ianto chuckled quietly and moved again, the sound of his breathing slightly louder against the phone. _“Well maybe that should be my porn film costume then. Me, bright sunlight, lots of bubbles, wet jeans-”_

“A tight white t shirt?” Jack suggested helpfully as he felt his body start to respond to his attention, picturing Ianto hard at work in the bright daylight.

_“If you want. Of course, it would get wet so I'd probably just take it off after a while.”_

“Mmm good idea...” Jack could feel his prick hardening and grinned to himself, lazily stroking and teasing his body as he focused on the soft sound of Ianto's voice. “Don't want it getting dirty.”

_“Top up my tan whilst I'm at it. Of course being such a big vehicle I will need to stretch over it with that obscenely oversized yellow sponge, all those suds splashing onto my skin.”_

Jack chuckled and closed his eyes, his strokes more determined now as he imagined Ianto wet and soapy, the sunlight glistening off his body, the soft hairs on his chest sparkling with captured bubbles from the soap, the way he would squeeze out the sponge, foam exploding over his fingers-

_“Luckily I have a very powerful hose to help with the job. If only it didn't spray me so much.”_

Jack could hear the smile in Ianto's voice, the soft amusement at every heavy breath and soft moan that was escaping Jack. He could still remember the first time he'd tried to get Ianto into phone sex, the stilted conversation not exactly hitting all the right spots as they had both tried to come together whilst talking at the same time. It had been fun but not particularly effective. But he could hear the patience in Ianto's voice now, the relaxed tones reassuring him that Ianto was more than happy for this to be about getting Jack off, not him. His turn would come later.

“Mmm a very powerful hose.” Jack flicked his gaze down to his hardening cock and dragged his fingers across the head slowly, imagining his hand was Ianto's. “Hope it doesn't spray too much.”

_“I'm dressed for it, I'll cope. You on the other hand...”_

“Ah, enter the handsome stranger.”

_“More like used car salesman,”_ Ianto teased softly, “ _but at least you ask me if I could use a hand.”_

Jack laughed and felt it catch on his lips as he pictured Ianto looking up from the bonnet, his body outstretched over the SUV and almost reaching for him. “I do?”

_“Uh huh. Of course, that's how we know this is strictly a fantasy as you've never offered to help in your life before, even after the duct tape incident-”_

“Are you ever going to forgive me for that?” Jack growled low in his throat, sliding his hand roughly down his length, wishing he had thought to grab the lube before making the call. Frustrated, he sat up and hastily slid off the bed, padding quickly across the room to his coat and fumbling in the pockets.

_“Depends on whether you ever get around to making it up to me or not._ ” Victoriously clutching a small sachet of lube, Jack hurried back to the bed, the springs creaking beneath him as he settled down again. _“Jack, what are you doing?”_

“Huh?” Jack grinned as he wriggled back into place, tearing open the sachet with his teeth with an ease borne of far too much practice. “ Fantasy or reality?”

_“Reality.”_

“Well,” Jack chuckled as he squashed the small sachet and dribbled lube over his prick and fingers messily, tossing the empty plastic aside when he was done. “Right now I'm covering myself with lube, about to wank myself off over the image of you sprawled over the SUV as I fuck you.”

_“Oh...”_ Jack could hear the complete loss of strength in Ianto's voice as he took in that thought, mutual desire flashing between them even over the miles and making Jack grasp himself firmly, a small sigh of contentment escaping his lips. _“That... That sounds like a good next scene.”_ With a professionalism that always hit Jack's kink buttons in a very profound way, Ianto recovered quickly, slipping back into his narrator voice. _“Of course, first I'll have to lose these jeans...”_

“Please do.”

_“It's much easier washing the car in just my boxers, I should have thought of this years ago.”_ Jack laughed and imagined walking up behind Ianto, sliding his hand around the damp cotton and finding his way into its layers, his fingers wrapping around Ianto's wet cock just as they were moving over his own slick length.

“You know what's better than just boxers? Nothing at all.”

_“Naked car washing?”_ Ianto almost purred contentedly. _“I hope no one sees me.”_

“I see you.”

_“Knowing you, you'd be videoing me too.”_

“Well this is our porn film,” Jack pointed out quickly.

_“Then you'd better make sure you get my best angles.”_ Jack could hear the laugh in Ianto's voice and smiled in reply, stroking himself firmly. _“So I'm naked against the car, my chest pressed down on the slippery metal as I cover it in bubbles whilst you stand behind me, watching me, fully clothed-”,_

“Please tell me I'm either going to stay clothed or get completely naked and not do that whole I-left-my-socks-on bit.”

Another laugh made Jack's eyes close at the image of Ianto looking back over his shoulder, laughing in the sunlight. _“I think you can keep your clothes on for a little longer but then we can take them off, don't want you getting them wet-”_

“Watching you like that?” Jack rolled onto his side and continued to work his prick as his other hand slid around behind his back, playing over his cheeks tightly. “Trust me, keeping my clothes dry is a lost cause.”

_“Naughty. I've just about finished with the soap, time to hose off.”_

“I'll say.”

_“I start at the top of the car of course, the water running down the bonnet and washing the suds away, but it's splashing over me too. I'd better rinse myself off...”_ Jack couldn't hold back the groan that escaped him as he pictured Ianto running the hose over himself like something out of a bad nineties pop video. _“I'll tell you one thing, I'm glad we have a mixer tap so this isn't cold water.”_

It was Jack's turn to laugh, stroking his cock lingeringly as he savoured the fantasy. “Yeah shrinkage is best avoided in a porn film. Although they do say the camera adds ten pounds...”

_“I let the water wash over my back then turn around, the water in my eyes meaning I don't see you there as I rub over my chest, then stomach, then my cock-”_ Jack moaned and buried his face in the sheets. He was no stranger to dirty talk, and the 35th century was the peak of human civilisation when it came to filthy language, but there was something about Ianto saying the word cock that sent a shiver through his body. Maybe it was simply because Ianto didn't swear at work that made it so deliciously filthy and unexpected, or perhaps it was because it was a sign Ianto was relaxed, but Jack loved it on a very primal level. Those vowels, those words...

_“My hand slides over my prick, the water glistening on my body as I touch myself, oblivious to everything but the slickness of my body and the cool water. But then I open my eyes and see you there, obviously hard and watching me-”_

“How could I resist,” Jack gasped quietly, shifting to kneel on the bed, his arse in the air as he continued fucking his fingers, his face almost buried in the sheets as he reached behind his back, fingers sliding between his cheeks to spread some of the slickness back to his arsehole.

_“I take it as a compliment. I smile at you and you make some comment about my impressive hose skills and whether I clean anything other than cars."_ Jack could hear Ianto's breathing getting heavier too, the sounds of their sighs all too loud in his ear. _“So I of course drop my hose and drop to my knees, my wet fingers opening your fly to grab your cock, wrapping my wet lips around it.”_

Jack was beyond words, a soft grunt his only encouragement to Ianto to continue but it was more than enough. _“I suck you off, my naked body servicing yours as you stand in the sunlight, the water running off into the drain as I bob up and down, my eyes locked on yours as I work...”_ Jack pressed a newly slick finger against his hole and groaned as he penetrated himself, just playing with the rim as he pictured Ianto at work, remembered sensations and sights spurring him on. Ianto hesitated, perhaps listening to judge how close Jack was, before he continued.

_“Of course, being a porn film, you don't come yet. Instead I get up again and you strip, getting as naked as I am, before turning me around and bending me over the car, spreading me over the bonnet before spreading my arse cheeks wide. Of course being a porn film I don't need any preparation or lube other than cold water and you slide into me straight away, my fingers sliding over the slick bonnet as you push all the way to the root in one go, before fucking me into the metal-”_

Jack gasped as he came, his gentle series of shuddering groans filling the air as he spilled over the hotel sheets and his fingers, his body twisted and curled on the bed, all the blood in his body rushing between his head and his cock.

_“And when you're about to come,”_ Ianto continued, a smugness to his voice evident now that he could tell he had made Jack come already, _“you pull out, turning me over again as you come across my chest and face, splashing onto my car's nice clean paintwork and undoing all my hard work.”_

Jack slowly pulled his fingers back from his sensitive cock and hole, breathing heavily as he flopped back down onto the bed again, staring up at the ceiling as he recovered. “Never... Dream of it.”

Chuckling throatily, Ianto tutted over the line. _“You would. But I don't mind. It just means I have to get that big soapy sponge out again...”_

Grinning contentedly, Jack glanced at the bed beside him and winced. “I may need to borrow it first. Housekeeping are going to hate me when I check out.”

Laughing again, Ianto's voice softened slightly, teasing Jack. _“Could be worse, could be me having to clean it up. Again.”_

“Hey,” Jack started to protest but trailed off, too tired and relaxed now to care. “Not always.” He couldn't stifle the yawn that overtook him and grinned ruefully as Ianto's chuckle sounded in his ear again.

_“Get some sleep Jack. And maybe leave a tip for the maid when you check out.”_ Jack nodded sleepily before remembering he was on the phone.

“Will do. Night Ianto.”

_“Goodnight Jack, I'll see you soon.”_

“Night night...” Jack trailed off, about to hang up before he realised something. “Wait, we forgot to do you!”

_“That's the beauty of porn Jack,”_ Ianto pointed out without a trace of annoyance, _“sometimes its all about one person. Don't worry, you can make it up to me later.”_

“Deal,” Jack agreed with another yawn. “Thanks Ianto.”

_“Always a pleasure, Sir. Oh and Jack?”_ Jack murmured lazily in reply. _"Don't charge too much porn to the room, it's a waste of money. Just remember, I'm always just a phone call away."_

"I don't deserve you."

_"Too true. Sweet dreams Jack."_ As the phone clicked off Jack settled back onto the bed and grinned. When the telephone was first being introduced, the British Post Office had claimed that they had no need of it, due to the number of messenger boys they already had. And whilst he did sometimes miss the sight of messenger boys running around the streets the benefits of those Welsh vowels outweighed the loss.

All the same, as he drifted off to sleep Jack wondered if maybe next time he could persuade Ianto to indulge in a little role play they could something historical. Something involving shorts - and definitely a hat...

The End


End file.
